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10 Things Every Women’s Ministry Leader Needs to STOP Now!

Is your Familiar Greater than your Future?

Stop It!  

  1. Stop! Being shallow.  Your women want something meaningful.  Make disciples.  
  1. Stop! Having teas and other fluff.  Before you write me about how meaningful your Christmas tea is … take the time to evaluate your end goal.   Is it tradition?  Is it fun? OK – but don’t make it more than it is.  Again … before your write… I love you and let’s go to tea, just don’t call it what it’s not.
  2. Stop! Wasting time.  The most valuable thing your leaders and women will give you is their time. Have a meeting and know who needs to be there and why.  If you don’t know, don’t have the meeting.  Is it necessary to have everyone present or can you have a one-on-one and accomplish your goal.
  3. Stop! Keeping it Clean!  What?  Women have real life and real issues.  Women’s Ministry is up close and personal.  Discipleship is messy. Be willing to get into the weeds with your women.
  4. Stop! Doing the same thing.  I know, it’s easy and predictable.  But, it’s stale.  Just ask the women who aren’t coming anymore. Is your Familiar Greater than your Future?
  5. Stop! Keeping everyone in the same groups.  Challenge women to step up as leaders and birth new groups.  Create environments that support multigenerational experiences.
  6. Stop! Putting a lid on your women.  Create leadership positions for women to serve out of their passion and abilities.  Champion them to pursue God’s best.
  7. Stop! All the committee decisions.  OK – so your church does committees – but not every minute decision needs to come before your team or board.  Do your job and lead.  
  8. Stop! Doing it alone.  For the loner leader who never consults their team – you are missing out of the beauty and strength of a band of women.  Their voice can bring reason, creativity, and movement of the mission.
  9. Stop! Ignoring the Seasons.  When a ministry, reoccurring event, or group has served it’s time – celebrate the people and let it go.

It’s just hair and I’m just me…

In July I began losing round patches of hair. Last week I was diagnosed with scarring alopecia.  A biopsy showed that my hair loss is permanent.   While I was sad, I was hopeful that a transplant or other restoration options would be available to me. I drove to Richmond to visit with various experts and each one said there was nothing to be done. 

My husband, Mike, comforted me over the phone after each consultation.  Before going back home, I was able to secure an appointment with someone who fitted wigs. 

Waiting for that appointment was so hard.  I pulled in front of the salon an hour ahead of time and drove away.  I guess I felt walking inside make it final.  

I love how God was preparing my heart even before I knew what was coming…I was listening to “Live, Love, Lead” by Brian Houston on audible.   Here is one of the quotes from my drive 

The anguish is real but there is something more real – more powerful – more all compassing than any loss, crisis, or trauma we can encounter… the love of God through the power of His son Jesus Christ. – Brian Houston 

In the middle of all my tears and the drive away from the salon, I ended up in a strip mall parking lot. 

When I stopped crying long enough to look up – I got so tickled.   I could go do a little yoga – then an Irish dance and top it all off with a smoke.  All in the same place. Have you ever seen such a combination? 😀     I thanked the Lord for making me laugh in the middle of everything.  

With that I drove back to the salon.  God in His mercy had directed me to an expert that works with people from several states.  More importantly,  Cheryl is a strong believer and knew just what to do for me in my vulnerable situation.  

As I sat in her chair  I heard about Cheryl’s own battle with cancer and the many that come through her doors with much bigger battles than my own.   She told me the story of a twenty year old that lost all of her hair two weeks before her wedding and of a pediatric case she would be working on soon.  God was loving me and giving me perspective moment by moment.  I had so much to be thankful for …

The next day Mike and Cheryl worked me in for my wig.  

I’m thankful for Cheryl’s heart and her skill. 

This isn’t the end of the story. It is the beginning. 

I want you to feel comfortable if you see me one day with a sassy wig and another day with a ball cap or scarf.  I’ve got to figure all this out with riding bikes – hiking – and going to Guatemala. 😀. I don’t mind if you ask me questions or if you share my story with someone you think it will help. 

We all go through the unexpected in one way or another.  When it comes your way, remember with me these 5 things:

  1. Whatever you are facing today – God is for you not against you. 
  2. If the enemy can get us to question our calling or question our identity, he can make is vulnerable to expecting less than God’s best.  — Let’s don’t let him do that!!! 
  3. The enemy wants you and me to feel condemned, overlooked, and left out.  (All lies – let’s sink our teeth into truth). 
  4. It’s “ok” NOT to “be ok” with what you’re going through.  We don’t have to like it. Sometimes things stink.
  5.  It is what it is… but more importantly –He is who He is. He loves me and He loves you.

We are not defined by our disappointments.  Let’s don’t let them stop us for hard-charging the dreams,goals, and the purposes God has for each one of us. 

Romans 8:28 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

ALL things …

With love,